Some guys are tired of their girlfriends but they do not know how to end things. Either because they’re shy or do not have the audacity to do so. This article is here to help those guys.
1. Be Annoying: And by annoying, we mean so annoying that she’ll actually break up with YOU, saving you the awkwardness of having to be ‘the bad guy.’ I suggest the following plan. First, refrain from showering. Then forget her birthday, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas. FInally, adopt and constantly repeat an annoying catchphrase such as “It’s go time” or “Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” When you pick her up for a date – drop the catchphrase. When she calls you – drop the catchphrase. Waiting in line for movie tickets – drop the catchphrase. If you say your catchphrase enough times, she’ll dump you for sure. And when you are the dumpee instead if the dumper, you may even get a sympathy date or two.
2. Text Message: Text messages are all the rage. It has all the convenience of using a phone without any of the lame ‘talking to people’ part. And to make things even more convenient, people use clever shortcuts like lol, wwjd, and rofl. Send her one that says iabuwy. When she asks what that stands for, spell it out – I Am Breaking Up With You. If you add one of those 🙂 smiley faces, it may lessen the blow. But don’t write ‘lol’ because that’s just cold. The main advantage to this method is, she’s nowhere near you when it happens, so physical violence is not an option.
3. Move: Pack up your stuff and move away … far far away. She won’t be able to find you, and eventually she’ll figure out that you are no longer dating.
4. Dead Flowers: When you are courting someone, you send them pretty roses. Why not do the opposite to break up? Send her some dead flowers with a note that reads “these flowers are dead, like our relationship.”
5. Go to Prison: Being behind bars makes you unavailable to date. Actually, it pretty much makes you unavailable for anything. But on the positive side, you’ll finally be free from going to chick flicks, carrying her purse when you go out, and all the other stuff you hate doing with her. Odds are, when you complete your term in the big house, you’ll be a free man. She may try to stick it out and wait for you to get out. But I’ve seen enough TV shows to know that eventually, she’ll get tired of reading your letters that say “Today I sat in my cell and tried to avoid being molested by my cellmate … again.” Before she moves on, you may still enjoy some conjugal visits. Talk about a win-win!
6. Start Dating Her Friend: This will NOT make you the good guy. In fact, you’ll probably be labelled a jerk and ruin their friendship in the process. But what better way is there to signal that things are over and move on to your next relationship at the same time?
7. Join a Cult: Join a cult with her, only you’ll be faking. Wait until she’s converted and totally into the cult, then go home.
NOTE: TIPSBLOG IS NOT ADVICING NEITHER PROMOTING BREAKING UP OF RELATIONSHIPS.