Hmmm, Marriage! what lead to the change of mind? Could it be love or just a different kind of decision? If you are just joining me on this journey, it’s better to begin from HERE


My marriage introduction had been fixed for the 26th of December, what we call “ knocking “ in my culture, where both families get to officially meet themselves and the Groom ‘s family officially communicates their intent to the bride’s family. This is usually the first step in marriage.

The day came with so much mixed feelings for me and yet questions came knocking on my door again, who would give me answers to them? I really do not keep friends, I just had a friend in school, his name is Chris, a male, he was my course mate and also from my village.


Chris and Obinna were the few persons close to me I had opened my relationship to. But were they in a position to answer the big question of Was I mentally ready or strong to go into a marriage relationship? I was just 21.

After the introduction both families agreed on a date for the traditional wedding and white wedding, Tony wanted it by February, but my people said no, they wanted me to round off with fourth year, so it was fixed for July the 5th. Not long from then, there was a general Asuu strike which altered the time table and it was then shifted to 1 and 3rd October. Ahh! That was so long a time for Tony, but he had no choice than to wait ✋.

The then existing strike was called off with the promise to embark on a full blown strike if their demands were not met, so I went back to school to continue with my studies. As feared, after few weeks has passed Asuu and federal government couldn’t reach a compromise, then we embarked on a full blown strike.


It was really a blessing in disguise because it availed me the opportunity of planning for my wedding as the dates drew closer. Tony has to be coming all the way from Jalingo for marriage counseling, he sent monies needed for the preparations. I did the best of what I could do, including the purchase of some items of which I carried his Elder sister along and sharing of wedding invites.

The D day came, first the traditional wedding day, it took place in my home town. My family and friends had traveled far and near to witness this occasions, my house was filled to the brim, preparations were on gear and finally, at about 3 pm the Traditional marriage/send-off ceremony started and by 6 PM we had finished and I was led back to my mother’s house as our culture states.

The next day all road led to the state capital where the wedding was to hold. Before I knew it it was morning, the main event, the actual D day. My mum had started to cry that morning, tears of letting her beloved daughter go, in as much as it was a good thing, she could not hold back her tears.

My dad with all the hard man display soon joined his wife, that shock me. Me, on the other hand, got so tensed of the reality which just dawned on me, the reality of starting up a new home, the reality of what could happen in this journey of marriage, the reality of the what if(s).

The reality of not staying with my family again? Or what a day, I began to let tears off my eyes. As we were pronounced husband and wife, on turning back I met my Elder brother whom I love so much crying like a baby, oh I thought I had put myself together, but no  I started crying again.

As the reception came to an end, I stood and watched as family and friends bid me goodbye, oh no I couldn’t hold my tears until we left to our Hotel room………………….. The story of my life has just begun.

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