Relationship: A Huge Distraction | Ep. 2.1


This relationship issue is getting interesting. Hope you remembered that yours truly embarked on a journey to Kaduna for the first time to go visit Tony, without his knowledge or that of my parents.

If you missed that, Click Here to Read it. Okay, let’s continue.


I woke up from my short sleep to a busy day, Tony had planned a lot of outings, including the market.

The next day one of the security men a middle-aged man I called ‘Baba’ came to meet me, we had a lot of conversations that include the diverse beautiful culture of KADUNA people.

Tony made my stay memorable whilst my mind was on how to embark on the journey back to school.  We got to know ourselves better, because that was the first time we would spend quality time together.

On the fourth day I was to leave, there was this mixed feelings in the air  lol. I left KADUNA back to school.


Upon my return to school, I of course commenced my regular school activities and my usual calls with Tony was still intact.

After about few months he informed me of his intention to come visiting, I was exited but wanted to really find out what the purpose of the visit was .

He said he wanted to come see my people which I objected and told him I wasn’t ready for all of those.

Meanwhile i had about five very serious suitors coming, of which two of them were outside the country asides the unseen ones their parents were rooting for. Lol.

However Tony still insisted on coming home to see me which I didn’t have issues with. He came back spent about 1 week and went back to Kaduna.


 Shortly after Tony went back to Kaduna, he was transferred to another state, yet in the north. He had to move down to Jalingo in Taraba state  . Soon it was Christmas and Tony returned home for the season.

At this juncture, I still couldn’t gather the courage to introduce him to my parents, thanks goodness I was at my mother’s with my uncle, uncle Richard.

On 24th of December to be precise, Tony visited my maternal home and met with my grandmother, two of my Aunties and of course Uncle Richard.

After he left I had issues with uncle Richard because he feels I was beginning to derail from “our” agreement, yes you heard me right “our agreement.”

Uncle Richard had made me go into an agreement though oral to remain a virgin until I get married yes he loves me that deep. With few assurances and convictions we settled.

I got so busy attending to visitors on 25th, but I had made a promise to Tony who kept pestering me to come meet his parents on a different note.

On 26th I visited Tony’s home, met with his parents  , I got into a conversation with his mum who prepared Abacha for me and insisted I eat.

After a while I left and went back to my maternal home. Tony left the following day back to Jalingo. 


About a year and Ten ( 10 ) months have passed since I met Tony, soon he began the constant talks on coming to meet with my parents, after shaking my head I yielded to his request.

I had to start the battle of going to meet my parents, my mum wasn’t so much work for me, but my dad.

I however went home conveyed the message to my mum, who did the needful to my dad. Tony came down and met with my parents, and told them of his intentions.

After he left I had my own session of grilling from my dad, lol. My parents however told me to hold on on any feelings until they are done with their background check and all which is not strange in our culture.


After my parents were done with the whole background check thing and had informed me, I soon started reasoning differently.

The same person that had completely ruled out the issue of marriage, is the same person trying to give it a trial, and you may ask, what exactly is the color of my problem?

Lol, what lead to the change of mind? Could it be love or just a different kind of decision?

I will tell you, besides I liked Tony, but I was thinking continuing the normal dating relationship with him could be dangerous considering feelings have gotten involved and the fact that I will have to start visiting regularly, how long more would I hold on to my strict rules?

I considered all these and fell in for the “ yes “ Question. But if I may ask, were all my considerations yardstick to go into something as deep as marriage?

Was I sure of what I wanted, and if Tony represented that? Did I rush into this or was there something missing? Or would I have waited and given other ‘guy’s chance to probably compare?

Hmm! A lot of unanswered questions I guess.

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